In anticipation of our upcoming exhibition on Quaker Weddings we take a look at the background to Quaker Weddings and the Quaker Tapestry Marriage panel.
Even before 1660, Quakers kept careful records of Births, Deaths and Marriages of Friends; of Friends committed to prison, records of their “sufferings”, floggings, stocks, ill-treatment; records of their families and their needs. Even after the Acts of Toleration, records were still kept meticulously, especially those of Marriages. Friends developed not only a registration book, but also a certificate of Marriage not only giving details of the bride and groom, but also signed by all the Friends present as witnesses.
In 1837, the system of recording Births, Deaths and Marriages was adopted throughout Great Britain, and the records of the Quakers were used as a foundation and format. Partially in return, the distinct nature of Quaker Weddings was recognised in the Marriage Act of 1836, giving Friends the right to dispense with an official Registrar, and to appoint their own, unpaid Registering Officer in each Monthly Meeting.
Of Quaker Marriages, George Fox wrote “We marry none; it is the Lord’s work and we are but the witnesses.”
So there is no presiding priest, simply a Meeting for Worship during which the couple will make their declaration to each other. It is inevitably more structured than a normal Meeting for Worship, because, from the 17th century it was necessary to conform to certain legalities. Quakers today were one of the first religious groups to declare that they supported and wished to be allowed to hold, same sex marriages.
About the Marriage panel
The design for the Quaker Tapestry embroidered panel on Marriage is taken from a painting of a 19th century Quaker marriage. In the original painting, one of the women seated at the front is shown holding her bonnet on her knee, the designers and embroiderers were puzzled and decided to replace the bonnet on her head. After the panel was completed, however, the reason was discovered. At that period, women wore a white muslin underbonnet or cap in the house, adding a large-brimmed bonnet to go out. Some women in the Meeting were “recorded ministers”, and were used to speaking in Meeting. The funnel-shaped brim of the hat would tend to muffle their voices, therefore, in Meeting, they often removed the large outer bonnet in case they felt moved to speak.
At the bottom are the recorded words of Thomas Ellwood, a friend of William Penn, expressing the feelings of many couples since…
‘We sensibly felt the Lord with us and joining us, the sense whereof remained with us all our life’
The panel was designed by Joe McCrum and the embroidery, which was done by Bournemouth and Swanage M.M. is a good example of unembellished use of the five stitches, especially the Bayeux technique, well-executed, simple and exactly right in this context.
The Certificate of Marriage was conceived and embroidered by Ann Castle, the leader of the group ‘and one of the “three Anns” who were the original teachers. It was embroidered on to a different piece of woollen background cloth, which then had to be painstakingly, one thread at a time, woven into the original background. The lettering had to be minute, yet parts can be deciphered, using a magnifying glass. The rolled scroll effect completes the certificate.
Public call out for contributions
In preparation for our upcoming special exhibition, Simplicity in Style: The Quaker Wedding, we are putting out an open call for wedding-day photos and anecdotes from Quaker couples. These photos will be included in our new exhibition alongside our tapestry marriage panel, newly finished same-sex marriage panel and various historic Quaker wedding items.
Photos should show Quaker couples in their wedding attire and be accompanied by anecdotes of max. 200 words. We enthusiastically welcome all submissions, particularly from traditionally underrepresented groups including but not limited to those who identify as LGBTQ+, deaf and/or disabled, neurodivergent, POC and ethnic minorities/global majority Quakers.
We hope to include all the stories we receive in the exhibition, however if there is a surplus of submissions, the remaining entries will go on our website.
Submissions should be sent to info@quaker-tapestry.co.uk by 1st June. We would really love to receive any contributions you might have!
You can view Marriage, and other panels, here at Quaker Tapestry Museum, Kendal or on our website.
Buying lovely things from us directly supports our charitable work, thank you
Postcards of Marriage are also available for you to keep or send.
If Quakers have no minister, then how do they get married? Our Quaker Marriage Booklet, describes Quaker marriages in Britain and Ireland.
Shop and online purchases help us to preserve and exhibit one of the world’s largest community embroideries and in sharing its stories, history and stitches for all to enjoy.
